We Surely Belong To Allah And To Him We Shall Return

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This is something that is personal to me.

Dealing with deaths is never easy. Especially when dealing with the losing of someone that you love very much.

My beloved father-in-law, bertemu ajal, menemui pencipta, apabila terlibat di dalam kemalangan di area Manjung, Perak pada 1st of June 2016.

It was quick, and really quick. So quick that we haven’t processed everything yet.

On that day, my husband called me, and told me that Ayah accident. His voice sounded panic. And at the end of the sentences, he said, “Dah takder,” I was confused.

Later I called my sister-in-law, and she was crying, and that confirmed everything. Ayah accident and he’s no longer with us.

I called my parents. I think I’ve heard my father cried. He was saying that he was so sad.

I’ve packed up our bag in less than an hour. My sister-in-law came to pick me up and we’ve rushed back to Sungai Petani, Kedah.

Mama masih ingat, that a week before that, Mama pergi majlis ilmu tafsir Ustazah Dato’ Dr. Fatma, Ustazah ada pesan, kalau kita berdepan dengan apa-apa musibah sekalipun, bukan sahaja kematian, ringankan mulut untuk sentiasa berzikir, إِنَّا للهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ

It means, “We surely belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.” Segala ujian di atas muka bumi ini, kesedihan yang kita rasa, keperitan yang kita lalui, datangnya dari Allah, dan hanya Allah sahaja yang mampu menghilangkan rasa-rasa sedih dan perit tersebut. Insya Allah, Allah akan bagi berita gembira buat kita semua.

Berulang kali Mama berzikir ayat Al-Quran tersebut. At one point, hati Mama jadi sangat tenang. We’ve made it before Ayah dikebumikan.

Mama sempat cium dahi Ayah. Allahu, sejuknya. Is he really gone? Syahir sempat cium dahi Tok Wan, and he asked, “Kenapa Tok Wan tidur?”

That night passed by very quickly. Cepat sangat. Up until now, we still think that Ayah is still alive, that he’s gone to somewhere that is very far, mungkin ambil masa untuk kembali kepada kami.

That night, selepas pulang ke rumah, Mak masih lagi basuh baju Ayah and sidai baju Ayah. The next day, I’ve still helping my mother-in-law, tolong lipat baju Ayah. Allahu.

Sijil Kematian AyahWhen my husband showed Ayah’s death certificate, somehow, I can still see Ayah akan balik naik motor, and later on, all of his cucu akan datang panggil, “Tok Wan, Tok Wan, nak naik motor!”

Kerusi Malas AyahI can still see Ayah berzikir atas kerusi malas Ayah.

I can still see Ayah duduk di meja komputer, sambil dengar ceramah agama melalui YouTube.

While having our breakfast, I can still see him, duduk depan and asked me to pour him ayaq teh.

Allahu. Allahu. Allahu.

Semoga Allah beri kekuatan kepada kami semua, untuk meneruskan kehidupan kami.

I’ve missed him.

Dear Ayah, semoga Ayah tenang di sana. Semoga Allah mencucuri Rahmat di atas roh Ayah. Kami sayang Ayah. Kami sayang sangat-sangat.

We surely belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.

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